I Cheated – Should I Tell Him?

Should you tell him you cheated?

So you made a mistake and things went a little too far one night.  You had a few too many after-work drinks and went home with a co-worker, or you crossed some boundaries with a friend of yours.  However it happened, you cheated on your man, and you feel guilty.  Should you tell him you cheated?  It’s definitely not an easy decision.  Here are some things to think about:


  1. Will He Find Out?

If you are having doubts about whether to tell him you cheated, you need to think about whether or not there is any way that he will find out.   If it happened with a stranger while on a work trip, chances are slim it would ever get back to your man.  However, if it happened with a co-worker or close friend, the chances of him finding out are high – and it’s going to be a lot easier for him to find out from you instead of someone else.  If you are the one to tell him, you can decide when and how he finds out.  If the chances are high that he will find out from somewhere else, it may be best to bite the bullet and tell him yourself.


  1. How Will a Secret Affect the Relationship?

If you do not want to tell him, you need to understand how keeping a secret like this will affect your relationship.  You will always be aware of what you did, and if you’re like most people, the secret will quietly follow you everywhere you go.  You may become suspicious of things that he tells you.  You may start to blame yourself or even him – and begin arguments where none are needed.  If you don’t clear the air, you may end up destroying your relationship for other reasons.


  1. Are You Ready For the Consequences?

If you’ve weighed the pros and cons and decide to tell him – be ready for any decision he makes about how to deal with the situation.  If he asks for time – give him time.  You need to accept your guilt and allow him to hold the cards for a little while.  If he sends you out the door, you need to be ready for that too.  If the relationship is important to you, you will need to check your ego at the door and work hard to gain that trust back.