I Cheated – Should I Tell Him?

Should you tell him you cheated?

So you made a mistake and things went a little too far one night.  You had a few too many after-work drinks and went home with a co-worker, or you crossed some boundaries with a friend of yours.  However it happened, you cheated on your man, and you feel guilty.  Should you tell him you cheated?  It’s definitely not an easy decision.  Here are some things to think about:

 

  1. Will He Find Out?

If you are having doubts about whether to tell him you cheated, you need to think about whether or not there is any way that he will find out.   If it happened with a stranger while on a work trip, chances are slim it would ever get back to your man.  However, if it happened with a co-worker or close friend, the chances of him finding out are high – and it’s going to be a lot easier for him to find out from you instead of someone else.  If you are the one to tell him, you can decide when and how he finds out.  If the chances are high that he will find out from somewhere else, it may be best to bite the bullet and tell him yourself.

 

  1. How Will a Secret Affect the Relationship?

If you do not want to tell him, you need to understand how keeping a secret like this will affect your relationship.  You will always be aware of what you did, and if you’re like most people, the secret will quietly follow you everywhere you go.  You may become suspicious of things that he tells you.  You may start to blame yourself or even him – and begin arguments where none are needed.  If you don’t clear the air, you may end up destroying your relationship for other reasons.

 

  1. Are You Ready For the Consequences?

If you’ve weighed the pros and cons and decide to tell him – be ready for any decision he makes about how to deal with the situation.  If he asks for time – give him time.  You need to accept your guilt and allow him to hold the cards for a little while.  If he sends you out the door, you need to be ready for that too.  If the relationship is important to you, you will need to check your ego at the door and work hard to gain that trust back.

Is Cheating Worth It?

Feel Like Cheating?  Think About it First.

You may be in a committed relationship, and you have been faithful – so far.  However, opportunity sometimes comes knocking on your door, and you are finding it harder to resist.  Perhaps you are contemplating cheating on your spouse or significant other.  Before you go wild with another man, consider the following things to determine if cheating on your man is actually worth it.

  1. Why Do You Want To?

If you have been completely faithful in your relationship for a while and suddenly you are thinking about cheating – you need to figure out what has changed in your relationship that has changed your mind about being faithful.  Is it boredom in the bedroom?  Do you need more attention?  These are things that could be fixed by talking to your man.  Make sure the reason you are thinking of cheating isn’t something that could so easily be fixed together.

 

  1. What Will You Gain?

Sure, sleeping with someone new will be fun – for the hour or two that it is going on.  However, what do you expect to get out of this experience?  What will you take away from that moment other than a big secret?  Will it make you more confident?  Will it make you a happier person?  Make sure that cheating on your partner is actually worth something other than a quick romp in the hay.

 

  1. Can You Keep a Secret?

Something you will definitely take away from the experience is a giant secret to keep from your partner.  Are you ready for that?  Keeping a secret from your partner can often ruin a relationship.  You will always be wondering if he found out.  You will feel guilty, and he will notice a change in your behaviour.   You may begin to question what he has done that you don’t know about – after all, he doesn’t know that you cheated.  It may lead to the end of your relationship anyway.

 

  1. What Are You Risking?

If your man does find out that you have been cheating on him – how is he going to react?  There’s a good chance your relationship will be over if he finds out. Is that worth risking? If he doesn’t end the relationship right away, rebuilding the trust is a long and gruelling process.  Decide if cheating is really worth the risks that you are taking with your relationship.  You can’t undo cheating once it’s done.